Lipstick Aficionado T-Shirts

'He'll be with you in a few minutes. He's just putting his lipstick on.'

'So which do you think - 'Passionate Pink' or 'Sultry Sienna'?'

Lipstick hiccups

Cowgirl applying bullet shaped lipstick.

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

Comedy Cafe

A Vase has fallen on a cat's head. Are mice to blame?

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

"Too much concealer?"

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

"Let's just go in and see what happens."

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

"I don't know whether to be mad that you had water this whole time or impressed with your commitment to the joke."

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

"Watch carefully...it hurts when I do this."

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

'Popovitch, nobody laughed about you until you fell off the ladder and got trampled down by the elephants. I want you to do that every evening.'

Kissing the Fish

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

'You need to do something about your dry skin.'

"Sure I used drugs when I was your age, but they were all prescribed for acne."

'Yeah, I slipped on a banana skin too...'

First love.

Desert Dermatologist

"Would you like to try them out?"

"It will be okay to hop when you go home but don't try to run."

New Twenty Blades

Custard pie ejects from book - 'How to be a clown'

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

'You do Botox?'

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

"Another barnacle?!" "I was a teenage creature."