Lion Tamer Wannabe Gifts

'Where did we go wrong?'

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

To do before Saturday...

Litter Tray Training

Secretive Weigh In.

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

Thug life on safari.

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

A Clown pretends to put his head in the mouth of a TV lion.

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

Lion Tamers School - Lion licking his lips examiner marking a fail

'You see son, it's jobs like these that give us a bad name...'

Parenting Business Deals

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

'At least, Men point cameras at you these days: In my day, they pointed guns!'

Education Guidance

"She does this when she's tired."

'The health and safety officer isn't happy. He want's you to tie your shoelaces.'

'Mr Godzilla - you need anger management!'

'Nah, the circus ain't what it used to be. It's got all fancy and hard since Circ de Something started.'

"So...what are you in for?"

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

'When I said you'd have to jump through hoops, I meant you'll have to literally jump through hoops.'

'What's your tolerance for risk?'

"Ok, I have my hearing aids on now: let's hear this mighty roar of yours. . ."

'This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath !'

'I don't want to go school shopping! Can't you just buy stuff for me?. . .Just get me more of this in the next size up!'

'That's right kids: I jumped through rings of fire when I was with the Circus!'

'I ate three cloves of garlic before the show: Check the Tamer's expression when he puts his head in my mouth...'

'Oh my, have you seen the size of the new tamer's head? I can't fit that in my mouth...'

Matador.

"Pick me! No me! Me! Pick me! Pick ME!"