Lion Tamer Wannabe Gifts

'Where did we go wrong?'

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

To do before Saturday...

Secretive Weigh In.

Litter Tray Training

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

Thug life on safari.

A Clown pretends to put his head in the mouth of a TV lion.

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

Lion Tamers School - Lion licking his lips examiner marking a fail

Parenting Business Deals

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

'You see son, it's jobs like these that give us a bad name...'

'At least, Men point cameras at you these days: In my day, they pointed guns!'

Education Guidance

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

"She does this when she's tired."

'The health and safety officer isn't happy. He want's you to tie your shoelaces.'

'Mr Godzilla - you need anger management!'

'When I said you'd have to jump through hoops, I meant you'll have to literally jump through hoops.'

'Nah, the circus ain't what it used to be. It's got all fancy and hard since Circ de Something started.'

"So...what are you in for?"

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

'What's your tolerance for risk?'

'This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath !'

"Yes, it's dangerous but, if there is a power there, think what it will mean for HD TVs, cell phones, ipods ... "

"Ok, I have my hearing aids on now: let's hear this mighty roar of yours. . ."

'Oh my, have you seen the size of the new tamer's head? I can't fit that in my mouth...'

Matador.

"Pick me! No me! Me! Pick me! Pick ME!"

'I ate three cloves of garlic before the show: Check the Tamer's expression when he puts his head in my mouth...'

"And for your entree, sir?"