Lion Tamers In Suits Gifts

'Clients can get a little tricky at these product analysis sessions.'

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

Litter Tray Training

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

A Clown pretends to put his head in the mouth of a TV lion.

Lion Tamers School - Lion licking his lips examiner marking a fail

Parenting Business Deals

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"I find that my strongest passwords are those created when the cat walks across the keyboard."

'They've been in there all day writing the job description.'

Education Guidance

'The health and safety officer isn't happy. He want's you to tie your shoelaces.'

'Mr Godzilla - you need anger management!'

"It's a jungle out there. You'll love it."

'When I said you'd have to jump through hoops, I meant you'll have to literally jump through hoops.'

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

'Nah, the circus ain't what it used to be. It's got all fancy and hard since Circ de Something started.'

'What's your tolerance for risk?'

'Where did we go wrong?'

'This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath !'

Matador.

"Sorry I'm late, I've brought cappuccinos for everyone."

'Oh my, have you seen the size of the new tamer's head? I can't fit that in my mouth...'

"You'll have one bite of everything!"

'That's right kids: I jumped through rings of fire when I was with the Circus!'

"Our driverless smart car texted me saying it went to get an oil change because I was too lazy to do it. Is there a way to disable its rudeness?"

'Is that you, dear?'

"You goo-goo, you gaa-gaa. But when push comes to shove, you whaa-whaa."

'I ate three cloves of garlic before the show: Check the Tamer's expression when he puts his head in my mouth...'

'Now, you'd better pick up your toys or no bath!'

Circus Act