Linkedin Lover Pillows

"I'd like you to join my professional network on LinkedIn."

"There appears to be some discrepancies between your C.V. and your Wikipedia entry."

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

The Corporate Ladder and the Corporate Elevator.

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'

"The boss can see you now."

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

'Just a couple more and we'll call it a day.'

A boy with a camera

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

'In this world, son, you've got to learn to push yourself.'

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

"We're staying together for the sake of our facebook page..."

Couch Potatoes

"Now then Mr Parker - are you relaxed?"

"I hear you've got friends in high places...?"

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

"I'm not 'just sitting here' — my mind is all over the place."

"I'm doing all I can to make the little things count."

"Cancel my landline...are you crazy?"

Tee for Two!

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

"Look, Mom! A broadband digital subscriber line followed me home. Can we keep it?"

Online Dating for Dummies

"Still no offers - sometimes I think I'm the only one using this site."

'OK Sheldon - which part of the Unified Field Theory do you not understand?'

'How do you propose to repair the roof from down there?!'

Road to Recovery: Snakes and Ladders.

"I'm so confident that when I climb a ladder."

"The great resignation is being fueled by the desire to brag about quitting one's job on LinkedIn."

"Well, sometimes I'll just hang around and do nothing. Oh wait, that's all the time."

"And now, with our own unique version of the cole porter classic. . ."