Landline Lover Pillows

"Hello? is it me you're looking for?"

"We're quietly happy."

'Well, if I got the wrong number how come you answered the phone?'

"Cancel my landline...are you crazy?"

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

'That's true son..Money can't buy happiness. But it makes being unhappy a little easier to live with.'

'Just a couple more and we'll call it a day.'

Bowling ball van driving into bowling pin factory.

Bowling ball head.

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

'I'm tracing my relatives.'

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

'You still can't take it with you, but we now offer cloud storage for intellectual properties.'

'Someday, son...all this will be Mine.'

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

Family Money - "I've been working on your family tree!"

"There appears to be some discrepancies between your C.V. and your Wikipedia entry."

'He says he too would be grinning were he to be adored all over the world.'

Little Known Historical Fact: After regaining consciousness at the last minute, Davey Crockett's coonskin cap went on to become the Alamo's only survivor.

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

'Mike, all I'm saying is, 'Fred' is fine, but 'David' has a nicer ring to it!'

'Your uncle had a very unusual will.'

'I'm the father of our country.' 'Big Deal.' 'Yawn.' 'I'm the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby.'

'The key to inner peace? A land line.'

Genealogical picture of Mr. Punch.

'...You have some pretty big shoes to fill.'

'According to your love line, I should be calling a cop right now!'

"Son, this is the key to success - it opens the room where we keep the money."

"He leaves behind a loving wife, two beautiful children and a credit score of 780."

“What we have here is an old moral compass. How did it come into your possession?”

Minutes since the TV broke.