Landline Lover Gifts

"Hello? is it me you're looking for?"

"We're quietly happy."

'Well, if I got the wrong number how come you answered the phone?'

"Cancel my landline...are you crazy?"

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

'Just a couple more and we'll call it a day.'

'That's true son..Money can't buy happiness. But it makes being unhappy a little easier to live with.'

Bowling ball van driving into bowling pin factory.

Bowling ball head.

Michael Jackson: The thriller of entertainment.

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

'I'm tracing my relatives.'

'You still can't take it with you, but we now offer cloud storage for intellectual properties.'

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

'Someday, son...all this will be Mine.'

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

Family Money - "I've been working on your family tree!"

"I'd like you to join my professional network on LinkedIn."

Little Known Historical Fact: After regaining consciousness at the last minute, Davey Crockett's coonskin cap went on to become the Alamo's only survivor.

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

'He says he too would be grinning were he to be adored all over the world.'

A cowboy uses a noose for a clothesline.

"There appears to be some discrepancies between your C.V. and your Wikipedia entry."

'Mike, all I'm saying is, 'Fred' is fine, but 'David' has a nicer ring to it!'

'Your uncle had a very unusual will.'

'...You have some pretty big shoes to fill.'

"Son, this is the key to success - it opens the room where we keep the money."

Genealogy Service. Family Trees Traced. I discovered that not only are you heir to an unclaimed family fortune, but I'm your long lost brother Wally!

“What we have here is an old moral compass. How did it come into your possession?”

Genealogical picture of Mr. Punch.

'I'm the father of our country.' 'Big Deal.' 'Yawn.' 'I'm the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby.'