Linguistic Laugh-seeker Pillows

"I'm bad with languages. The only foreign sounding phrase I know is crack-a-brewski."

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Bad fake tan day.

"That'll be five bucks."

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"It's a swearbox."

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

"What did Jesus order?"

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

"Projectile hairballing."

Drunk Barber

he used to belong to a cartoonist

"Hey! Get back here!"

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"I've always wanted to do this - 'knock, knock...who's there?'"

Football heads...

Bald Man Overcomb

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'

'I don't understand. Why do you want to have your arms extended?'

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

When Stupid People Get an Idea

Comedy Store - Canned Laughter delivery.

Well, that was a total waste of time!