Linguistic Fun Pillows

Dad talks in management speak. Mum translates: 'He'll give you 50p to clean the car'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

"It's a swearbox."

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

Shoe repair

Heart To Heart

Artichoking victim

"I think I've eaten something that hasn't agreed with me."

"The doctor will she you now."

'I am a bit concerned about what you meant when you said: LET'S DO LUNCH...'

Classical Music Library: Bach in a Minuet

"What?"

"Pansexual"

Blood donor centre

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

Surreal scene depicting a dry cleaner shop interior, with pant zipper flies stuck to a fly strip.

"I'm bad with languages. The only foreign sounding phrase I know is crack-a-brewski."

Board on Baby

Back Down

'If it hurts when you make webs, Dear, maybe you should see a spin doctor.'

"Fred, no one is going to bother you here. Put away the Bare Spray."

Hospitalized intellectuals are ill-literates.

"Oh, yes, 'Aloha' also means 'you're fired.'"

"Horse-drawn carriage."

"We're having a whip-round for Jane - you're next."

'Excuse me Postie! - You've got something hanging from your sack!'

'Alsatian? Silly me,I thought you said AUSTRALIAN!'

Exclamation road sign says 'OMG'

'Mr Wilks, I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific than 'an unidentified item in the bagging area'.'

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's "Malaprop Man"! Malaprop Man! You're a fitness instructor now! Yes, I guide my clients through a program of strength and endurance tanning! Muscle mess is increased with progressively bigger bar bills. And each person has a set heart rot target. I guarantee everybody will end up with a great beached body this summer! Just make sure you're there to roll them back in the water, M-Man!

Canadian Importers - In, Oot.