Linguistic Delight Gifts

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'

'Diver caught scallops - is that a description of what happened or a compound adjective'

"The finger bowl is courtesy of the gentleman."

Irritable Vowel Syndrome: "EEEIIIOOOAAA AUUUEEE!!"

The Oxford Comma Coin

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

Harmon Silas, calculating the thousand words his picture is worth, wonders what do do with contractions.

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

"Not that kind of hare, Rapunzel!"

'Well? - Now that we've learned to talk, aren't you going to admit that you were wrong?'

'Yes, I speak perfect English, I have to 'cause you English are too bloody lazy to learn French!'

Sign on Roget's Thesaurus, Inc.: 'Absent Ingesting Comestibles'

"I think our daughter should change her major. She can now ask for money in 3 different languages!"

"No, those people aren't anorexic. Those people are starving."

"I think I've eaten something that hasn't agreed with me."

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

"We’re leveraging knowledge of niche opportunities to maximize strategic advantages."

Barbed Pen

It was a match made in heaven.

Artichoking victim

Heart To Heart

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

"Dog...God. God...dog. Cat...tac."

"Mom, Dad, sis-I'm not like you. I'm-I'm not a palindrome."

Business School - Center for the Study of Mumbo Jumbo - 3rd Floor.

Exclamation Marks chasing the Question Mark.