Linguistic Delight Gifts

We invented language and they invented verbal gaffes.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Now that we've invented language, let's talk about our relationship.

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

I think you'll find that I'm easily encouraged. For instance, the fact that the two exclamation points above your head are tempered by one question mark gives me great hope. !?!

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'

'Diver caught scallops - is that a description of what happened or a compound adjective'

Irritable Vowel Syndrome: "EEEIIIOOOAAA AUUUEEE!!"

"The finger bowl is courtesy of the gentleman."

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

The Oxford Comma Coin

Harmon Silas, calculating the thousand words his picture is worth, wonders what do do with contractions.

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

"Not that kind of hare, Rapunzel!"

'Well? - Now that we've learned to talk, aren't you going to admit that you were wrong?'

'Yes, I speak perfect English, I have to 'cause you English are too bloody lazy to learn French!'

Sign on Roget's Thesaurus, Inc.: 'Absent Ingesting Comestibles'

"No, those people aren't anorexic. Those people are starving."

"I think our daughter should change her major. She can now ask for money in 3 different languages!"

"Make up you mind - do you love me completely or love me to bits?"

"We’re leveraging knowledge of niche opportunities to maximize strategic advantages."

Artichoking victim

Barbed Pen

"I think I've eaten something that hasn't agreed with me."

Heart To Heart

It was a match made in heaven.

No, sir, that entr

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

"Dog...God. God...dog. Cat...tac."

'I'll keep my remarks brief.'

Business School - Center for the Study of Mumbo Jumbo - 3rd Floor.

"Mom, Dad, sis-I'm not like you. I'm-I'm not a palindrome."