Lineup Laugher Pillows

"It's amazing how they manage to endure despite all the lineup changes."

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

The breakup

'To show you I'm not all bad, I won't be letting you go until after 'Bring Your Child To Work Day'.'

"Eureka!!" "Guess again, Einstein."

'As a boss you'll find me hard, but fair. Actually, that's only half true.'

"Oh, I'm sorry, Berger. I must have accidentally pressed the 'Sycophant' button."

"You've been around here longer than I have. What are 'congressional ethics'?"

'Just a little off the top.'

"Listen, if this takes much longer I'll be late for work and I'll be a dead man!"

"A cashier told me to have a nice day and I didn't. Am I liable or can I sue her?"

Coast to coast.

'I said, I think I know whey you're finding it lonely at the top.'

'But we've got laws on the books now that we can't enforce!'

Jury Bribes.

'The computer must be on the blink if it sent a questionnaire to him!'

'Litigate not, least ye be litigated against!'

"And here we have a very rare and unusual piece titled 'The Last Remaining Open Seat.'"

"I thought you said you were watching your weight!"

'I would definitely say I'm a 'type A' personality.'

Escaping surgery.

'We're looking for a mother figure.'

'Don't tell me we live in a litigious society... I ought to sue you for saying that!'

'I drank to a lawyer's health, and now he's slapped me with a malpractice suit.'

"Yes, they offer free delivery. But when an on-line seller laughs, does their belly shake like a bowl full of jelly?"

"That's OK. I'll get the next one."

'Never ever will I move by train again.'

'Both prosecution and defense must submit any unwritten laws in writing.'

"You bite me again and I'll sue."

'Well I'll be damned, you got me on a technicality.'

'I don't teach my students about the Bill of Rights any more -- it just makes them unruly.'

"Well, the satnav said turn left."