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Local Knowledge

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"Someday, these will be installed in every home and business that wants to seem artsy."

Lighthouse Beam.

Lighthouse has energy efficient light bulb.

Tedious Romantic.

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

'Now watch our sales increase.'

'It's a beautiful lighthouse. However, hauling the batteries up the stairs has taken its toll on my back.'

'Just checking that I've turned off the lights, dear!'

"It's not for you, it's for the paparazzi."

Lighthouse attracts ships like moths

You need a new reading light

'So anyways, I got a great deal on a candle factory from this total sucker and,,, hey, watcha reading'

"Notice how the artist uses light to draw in the viewer."

'You've haed the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

Optician: 'I can't seem to switch off.'

Idea/Theory

'The more festive I am, the more productive I get.'

Illuminating agricultural production

Small airplane pulls spiral striping off lighthouse.

'Thank goodness you're here!'

Still Lives: 'I just need to think of one bright idea and I'll be made for life!'

I believe there is something wrong with Tommy: He has perfect eyesight...

A lighthouse with a welcome mat

"this week on, 'Celebrity Fear Factor,' contestants are threatened with total anonymity."

"There's nothing much happening tonight... so I'm going to just talk about myself!"

"Delivery."

"It took all day, but we finally got there."

Man lighting ceiling candle

Header: Franchising of Optometry Caption: 'With every new pair of glasses you get a cheap plastic toy of a character from the latest kids movie'