Like Seeker T-Shirts

"I'm really only in it for the Likes."

Trillion dollar Dream Merchants - on a screen near you.

"It's not enough -- others must follow me on social media."

Facebook and chain

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

Muscles

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Pampered and poodled.

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

Bench Press Accident

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

"We're exclusively delts."

When did you first feel like a male trapped in a female body? When I was a foetus.

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

Mister Pretty Shoes

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

"I don't like your application."

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

"Do you do much walking?"

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

"You won't believe this but I haven't a thing to wear"