Love Seekers T-Shirts

City travel agency: 'Send me somewhere with women who appriciate a real man!'

Speed Dating Tonight - 7pm until 7.02 pm.

"If we all waited for Mr Right to come along the human race would be extinct by now."

'Today's calendar date is...'

"Love me, Tinder; love me, do. . ."

Matches Made in Heaven

Smorgasborg

"At our age we shouldn't ignore the 'speed' part of 'speed dating!'

"How can I tell if a girl likes me?"

'First of all I'll check to see if we have any blind ladies on our database - OK?'

Spud dating.

ACME COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'She should be attractive, intelligenty, charming, and funny, or best offer.

Online Dating

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

Will you be my Valentine?

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

'Well, they are probably past the age where romance matters.'

Computamatch.

Lost and Found.

"I swear, the only decent men around here are either married...or gay...or they're one of my ex-husbands!"

'I know she's not much to look at, but neither are you!'

"Wait, you've got a hole deep within you you've struggled your whole life to fill? I know just the guy you should meet!"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Sitting in a tree

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

"If you lied about where you are from, what else have you lied about?"

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

Baker Romance

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Well, I finally figured out why we were going to the vet so often for check ups! He finally plucked up the courage to ask her out!"