Lighthearted Weight Warrior Gifts

"Brace yourself!"

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Bench Press Accident

"We're exclusively delts."

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

Biceps, muscles and brawn

Sam's Gym. My problem is I can't get the body I want with the body I've got!

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

"Things got heated with the Morgans. I may have wagered our car. You're up."

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

The Unsportables: Relay

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

Fast Food Dieter

Ring for Service.

" ... then subtract 75 pounds for the cat ... "

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

Noughts and crosses hugging and kissing.

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

'Sorry, you're just not built right for weightlifting.'

'I don't get it! I've been exercising for six weeks now and haven't lost a pound.'

'I think it's time to concentrate a little more on your upper body!'

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

'He's got a good attitude, and he's tall. But he's got to get into the weight room.'

"I'm taking you off two of the four food groups."

A muscle pushing a body builders brain out of his skull.

A powerful tennis serve loosens the strings of a tennis racquet.

'Ha! Here's your problem. You haven't been taking the human growth hormones. Someone sold you some other kind of hormone.'

I'll take this one here.

'It's the people downstairs again.'

'My ex-boyfriend is just here to pick up his bodybuilding magazines. You can come in if you promise not to pick a fight.'

Gym. At some point you're going to have to raise the bar.

'What we have here is a hostage situation - There's a thin person inside you screaming to get out.'