Lighthearted Disciplinarian Pillows

'Um...Excuuuse me?! Apparently you've forgotten the household peacekeeping policy.'

At the 2021 Religious Games

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

"Let's take in a trial."

"Sucker!" / "Stirrer!"

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

"I'd like my son seated in the first row."

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

"Great sermon! - When it comes to sin, you sure know what you're talking about!"

'I had multiple personalities.'

'I see you've been chasing parked cars again. Wanna talk about it?'

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

'Frankly, I don't remember why I called this meeting.'

"Mommy needs to get mad at you in a weird calm voice now."

"Oh, I don't mind being called 'Reaper', it's the 'Grim' part that gets me...my name is actually Darryl and I'm a pretty happy guy!"

"You're a very good hall monitor, Billy, but we don't detain teachers."

Wheels for all purposes.

Pigeon Breeders' Association.

"How do I keep my kids in line? I threaten to rent out the space under their beds to monsters."

Doctor using a crystal ball to diagnose patient,

"...And to those who have been naughty he doesn't bring any coal, just presents."

'When you get closed down I'd be willing to take any dirty books off your hands.'

'Are you on HRT?'

"You just wait until your father gets home and adjusts your algorithm!"

Adan and Eve.

"Could you supersize these grades, Ms. Bain?"

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'