Light Hearted Slacker Gifts

"You know I'd help if it weren't for my bum knee."

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

"I didn't come all this way to do work."

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'At least I don't have his life.'

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

Bro of Frankenstein

"I don't need to take notes. I'm wearing a wire."

"We could have a shoot-out, then brunch."

'If anyone's still interested, the definition of entropy is ^,'

"I got it in a novelty shop. But it has decreased loitering around the watercooler with 29%!"

"It's me, Lucky—you can drop the best-friend shtick."

'This is the third time you've gone to the bathroom tonight. Are you seeing another woman in there?'

Intermediate Slouching.

The Sedentary Dead.

"It took years of hard work to get my colleagues to expect nothing from me."

"Won't your boss miss you?"

Under zealous: ZZZZZZ!

Who...what...why...when...where...whatever...

'I'm looking for something not too heavy.'

Sundayafternoon Carpenters

'He likes to rest before he gets tired.'

"I think I'll go home and start some unhealthy eating habits I'll live to regret."

Man in office watching TV instead of a computer monitor.

Breathe-aholics Anonymous: 'Hi, my name is Glen, and I've been clean and sober for over one minute.'

Scaffolding team watching TV.

"Wow! Nice job on that display, Baldo! Just don't tell the boss. He'll make you do more."

"Stop doggin' it!"

"Laugh and call me names, will they!"

"If God wanted me to go to church he wouldn't have put football on Sundays."

'Out to Hunch.'