Light-hearted Complainer Gifts

Complaints/Just Kvetching

Get crazy once in a while

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

"I hate this time of year."

#notblessed

"I finally have an ailment that isn't so bad that I'm worried, but bad enough for me to complain about constantly"

Welcome to Yosemite, Hell on Earth!

'I'm looking for something not too heavy.'

The World Ends Today!: 'Never mind, dear- better luck tomorrow!'

Less than Ultimate Fighting.

Golf ball escaping.

"Yes, Gramps, we agreed to follow 'until death do us part' with the caveat that we might be placed in separate wings of the assisted living facility."

'Don't feel too badly about your post, I used to work for the News of the World.'

'Sure I had the world on a string, sittin' on a rainbow, but my finger turned blue and my hemorrhoids were killing me!'

"Excuse me...is there a dressing room with a slimming mirror and soft light..."

"Waiter, there's a greenfly in my soup!"

"Where does it hurt?"

'Hey! Those things aren't toys, you know.'

'You know, this work is misery, but I really like the people I work with.'

"Don't eat so fast"

'I hope you find something that's worth complaining to my friends about.'

"Don't worry about me. I can be unhappy just about anywhere."

Complaint Department worker. 'Gosh, I'm good at this job!'

UN climate report

'I tend to look on the negative side of things. Do you guys do rose coloured glasses'

"I wonder if we'll still have to eat kale this summer."

"Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the only alternative..."

Eight nights of excuses

Complaints and Gratitude.

'I'm afraid your complaining is chronic.' - 'I want a second opinion!!'

"Someone stole my anti-depressant pills. I hope they're happy now!"

'The alarm didn't go off, my car wouldn't start, missed the bus, my back's aching, haven't had a raise in two years ...'

"Don't go to the light, Ned!"

"You know I'd help if it weren't for my bum knee."