Light Before Earth Philosopher Gifts

"It says God created heaven and earth, then there was light. Why didn't He do it the other way round, when He could see what He was doing?"

"And this is our media room."

"Trust me kiddo, even donkey's years fly by way too fast..."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'We need to have a shake-up!'

Pre-Historic Gentleman's Duel

Creativity

"Life after death"

Caveman sees comment section below cave drawings,

'I give up — he doesn't have any vital spots!'

"Comments are turned off."

"Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock, tick tock."

'You look different -- have you been evolving or something'

'So there's global warming. What possible harm could it do?'

'I've tried hunting, and I've tried gathering, but what I really want is a desk job.'

Planets in solar system form a New World Order.

"Sorry, but you're overqualified."

'If the Sun doesn't explode in five billion years, do you realize how foolish we'll look?'

"I think that once we invented finger food we pretty much took it easy."

'Knock the corners off that mate - and you've got the wheel.'

'Look, fire is fire - Why try to develop theories about it?'

"If I ever feel that life's moving too fast, I just stand in the prescriptions queue..."

"This human experiment has gone on long enough. Give the hippos control."

'This 'wheel' thing of yours - does it have to be round or will any shape do?'

Early blogs.

"Every time you come back you're depressed and disgusted. I'd quit visiting earth, if I were you."

"I wish I had his I.Q.!"

'Looks like the shape of a recession and recovery.'

'Half past zen.'

'Bloody warmongers!'

The inventions of baseball

'How would I make a round pizza if we haven't created the wheel yet?'

'Ever since this 'evolution' thing started, I've been doing a lot of soul-searching.'

"I took your advice and went on a strict month-long diet, but I only lost 30 days."

"We've finished the hunting and gathering. Let's invent the vacation!"