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"You knew I was straight when you married me."

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"Three more years of high school."

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

No Immediate Danger

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"It says here that if you read stuff on an electronic device you can miss the big picture."

Better times ahead.

Bashful in Nashville

Everyone agrees: Aunt Juanita needs a man.

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

"Rosalie—your poor performance this year has reduced your parents' investment in you by almost seventy per cent."

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

'This app tells me how near my friends are...'

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

"Of course I love you, I'm just busy with other men."

'None of the other things had instructions.'

"If he didn't live each day like it was his last, he would have lived another 40 years."

Midlife: You Are Here.

Baby At The Entrance Of The Maze Of Life

Wiseguys/Smartasses/Eggheads/Smarty Pants

Doubt or Certainy

'He's not so much a rough diamond, more a dumb block of carbon.'

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

"Everything started when I became a stay-at-home-mom of three little monsters."

'There's more information available now than ever before. I can only block out so much of it.'

"Mom, Suzy keeps coming closer than 6 feet to me."

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

Adult Book Store. Leaving home. Finding a Job. Getting Married. Buying a House. Raising Kids. Living with Stress.

'They're fighting over who gets custody of the electronic devices.'

...In a Relationship

'Come now - surely we can draw up this pre-nuptial agreement amicably.'