Lifestyle Commentators Pillows

There are only two types of people in the world. Those who are built for salad and those who are not.

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

"You are still here."

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

"My Weight Watchers meeting's tonight. I'd better get inside."

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

Goodnight Social Media.

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

Our Troubled Chowders

"The doctor wants you to point to where it hurts."

Blues for now.

"I'm charging you with texting and driving."

"No way! You're a telemarketer?! This is so great – hold on, I want to get comfortable ... how did you get my number?"

"I detect an accent – money?"

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

'I can't take much more of the happiness treadmill.'

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

'I was texting when my pop spilled on my laptop, which made me drop my iPod. So you see, officer, it wasn't my fault. Blame technology.'

'We're looking for a wifi hotspot.'

"I've been living vicariously through a really boring person."

"It just doesn't crackle like the one on Netflix."

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

"Meaning of life!!" "Meaning of 'Game of Thrones' series finale"

"I'm pretty sure there's a Starbucks on the other side of that big rock."

'I need my lifestyle validated.'

Renaissance Zone

"It was a gift from god."

"Well done, doctor. I've never seen a phone removed from a hand so skillfully before."

"The public's taste in entertainment has certainly changed."

The cost of bringing up children soars to more than £140,000.

'Everyone's depressed after income tax week, Cathy.'