Lifestyle Commentators Gifts

There are only two types of people in the world. Those who are built for salad and those who are not.

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

"You are still here."

"My Weight Watchers meeting's tonight. I'd better get inside."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

Goodnight Social Media.

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

"The doctor wants you to point to where it hurts."

'I can't take much more of the happiness treadmill.'

"No way! You're a telemarketer?! This is so great – hold on, I want to get comfortable ... how did you get my number?"

"I detect an accent – money?"

Our Troubled Chowders

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

'I was texting when my pop spilled on my laptop, which made me drop my iPod. So you see, officer, it wasn't my fault. Blame technology.'

Renaissance Zone

"I've been living vicariously through a really boring person."

'I need my lifestyle validated.'

'We're looking for a wifi hotspot.'

"It just doesn't crackle like the one on Netflix."

"Meaning of life!!" "Meaning of 'Game of Thrones' series finale"

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

"I'm pretty sure there's a Starbucks on the other side of that big rock."

"It was a gift from god."

"The public's taste in entertainment has certainly changed."

'Everyone's depressed after income tax week, Cathy.'

The cost of bringing up children soars to more than £140,000.

T-Shirts. Just do it. Just watch it.