Lifestyle Awareness Gifts

"You need to lose some weight. Go and see if you can find the remote control."

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

"I didn't spark joy."

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

Low-Energy Drinks

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'

"We're airship people, not mega-airship people."

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

Cat in a flap

Meanwhile in Hollywood

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

Distance to avoid contagion

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

Coronavirus Global Alert

"Your blood sugar levels are off the chart! Just how many Hallmark Christmas movies did you watch?"

"This isn't helping my migraine."

Centaur for Disease Control Says Wear a Mask

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"I have an exclusive license agreement with Pfizer Pharmaceutical."

Trust

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"They remove people who have become 'jammed in armchairs' due to COVID 19 lockdown!"

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

'No, you won't live longer if you give up sex and alcohol. But it'll seem like it.'

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"