Lifelong Companions Gifts

"We've been married so long you not only finish my sentences you start 'em too."

Others will fight for you

Christmas Pets

Protect Victims of Domestic and Sexual Violence

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"People who don't believe in soulmates just haven't met the right animal."

"I love how he finds joy in the simple things." "The emotional burden of alleviating his depression is crushing me."

PJ Parties

'Okay, we grew old together - Now what?'

'Silly thing, of course I still find you repulsive.'

Happy Valentine's Day

"Visiting hours are over, Mrs. Glenborn."

"If I'm your best friend, how come you never offer me a beer?"

'I feel like I just don't know you anymore, Richard!'

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

Assisted Living.

Dead Silence: a restaurant for married people

The Pope's bags getting carried by an angel.

'Thanks for keeping me company Liz: Sitting on my eggs all day long can be a bit lonely...'

"What do you want to do for Valentine's Day?"

"Cheer up! Things are sure to get better."

'Can I see some ID?' - 'I'm your husband you dope.'

Next years calendar.

A pledge of affection. - young lady asking her husband for roast pork for dinner

"Phil did a little soul-searching last night, but he came up empty-handed."

I'm finishing my memoirs. There's a chapter about us. What us? There was never any us. It's just a memoir. I have some artistic license. Do you want to be my wife or just my doting longtime girlfriend? Some people can't stand seeing their lives in print.

'I can't believe we do this for a living.'

'A dog is for life, not just for Christmas.'

Bert and Edna Bentley - At it since 1943.

'Of course he gets vaccinations faithfully. He does everything faithfully.'

'Near Thanksgiving she always takes her animal rights work a little too far.'

husband bites wife's arm in bed and dentures come out

"Dear, what are your thoughts on gay marriage?" "All for it. They should suffer like the rest of us."

To my Valentine