Life's Seasoned Journeyman Gifts

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

Airlines

'What zip code are we in now?'

"Look, if I had all the answers, would I be living alone on the top of a mountain?"

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

"Don't you want to hear about the day I had?"

"Remember, it's the journey not the destination."

Progress?

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

"Is that you nomad's answer to everything...ROAD TRIP?"

You know you're getting older: when your back goes out more often than you do!

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

An aircraft marshal helps a limousine park

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

"Try to remember, you're not 70 any more."

''Born again'? -- but I was just born five years ago!'

"Free safety demonstration on board the flight?"

"I guess I always wanted to be an electrician. As a little boy, I ran away to join the circuits."

The Finding Yourself Hour.

'My wife insisted I stop and ask someone for directions. Could you just pretend you're giving them to me?'

'My doctor's given me the all-clear for our Reunion tour.'

The Chicken of the North

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

"How about a discount for the little lady, pal, as your way of saying thanks for the bailout?"

Me, Alice and God

"It's a digital tattoo. It changes every time it's no longer age appropriate."

"Be honest- how does it look? I had to leave my laugh lines in for Bill."

Person who refuses to admit age on board. Feel free to drive with wild and reckless abandon.

"75"

Lots of People Would Consider Me Young...if they were alive today.