Life's Seasoned Journeyman Gifts

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

'What zip code are we in now?'

Airlines

"Convertible. Must be nice."

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

"Look, if I had all the answers, would I be living alone on the top of a mountain?"

"Don't you want to hear about the day I had?"

"Remember, it's the journey not the destination."

'I can't believe I'm pretending to be 55 already...'

Progress?

You know you're getting older: when your back goes out more often than you do!

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

"Is that you nomad's answer to everything...ROAD TRIP?"

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

An aircraft marshal helps a limousine park

''Born again'? -- but I was just born five years ago!'

"As slim as your chances are for salvation, it's nice to see you keep trying."

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

"Try to remember, you're not 70 any more."

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"

"Free safety demonstration on board the flight?"

"I guess I always wanted to be an electrician. As a little boy, I ran away to join the circuits."

The Finding Yourself Hour.

'My wife insisted I stop and ask someone for directions. Could you just pretend you're giving them to me?'

'My doctor's given me the all-clear for our Reunion tour.'

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

The Chicken of the North

"How about a discount for the little lady, pal, as your way of saying thanks for the bailout?"

Person who refuses to admit age on board. Feel free to drive with wild and reckless abandon.

"75"

"It's a digital tattoo. It changes every time it's no longer age appropriate."

Optimistic Aging...

"Be honest- how does it look? I had to leave my laugh lines in for Bill."

Me, Alice and God