Life's Marathon Runners T-Shirts

'The last time he jogged past the cemetery, the gravediggers tried to bury him'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

Out and In.

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

Storm in the out tray

37 years in the same position.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

'Your shoe's untied.'

'We haven't improved quality, but we've made it easier to return.'

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

Check your universal remote control at the door.

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"I told him he should have trained more."

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

'Mr. McCoy has been expecting you. If you'll have a seat, he should be with you within the next 6 hours.'

'So, come back in fifteen minutes?...Twenty?'

'Thanks for coming to this 12.01 appointment, but I'm afraid my 12.02 has now arrived.'

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

"I can give you a little bit of focus on 2:53 next Thursday."

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

Cross-country runners picking up water and spare batteries.

401K

'Remember, Bob, my door is always open...just not for you!'

'That's right, we're going all the way to the top floor ... I'm late for a meeting!'

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"