Life's Marathon Runners Gifts

'The last time he jogged past the cemetery, the gravediggers tried to bury him'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

Out and In.

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

Storm in the out tray

37 years in the same position.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

'Your shoe's untied.'

Group Think Time

'We haven't improved quality, but we've made it easier to return.'

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

31. 19. 55.7.

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

Check your universal remote control at the door.

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"I told him he should have trained more."

'Thanks for coming to this 12.01 appointment, but I'm afraid my 12.02 has now arrived.'

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

'So, come back in fifteen minutes?...Twenty?'

'Mr. McCoy has been expecting you. If you'll have a seat, he should be with you within the next 6 hours.'

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

"I can give you a little bit of focus on 2:53 next Thursday."

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

Cross-country runners picking up water and spare batteries.

401K

"What now?" Runners disturbing loggers

'That's right, we're going all the way to the top floor ... I'm late for a meeting!'

'Remember, Bob, my door is always open...just not for you!'

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"