Life's Challenges Philosopher Gifts

'First I lose my job... then my wife leaves me... and now my house burns down! What else could possibly go wrong!?'

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

"You need to justify your own existence first."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

Ski Slope Rated Black Due To Wall At The Bottom

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

Caveman to kid: 'There's more to life than what you read on cave walls.'

Tic-tac-toe

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"Yes sir, I'm late. But I thought we were supposed to stop and smell the roses ... "

"According to my calculations...school starts in exactly 20 days!"

"That's what I love about social media. I can have connections with thousands of people and yet still be completely isolated and alone."

Life, love and a lot of bananas.

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

"Just when I’ve reconciled the fact that I’m in my 40s, my 50th birthday shows up."

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

" It was a jungle out there, but I quite liked it."

"I'm surprised I'm still single - I always thought I'd be divorced by now."

"You're born, you deconstruct your childhood, and then you die."

'Life passed me by without using a turn signal.'

"Is it me or are the obstacle courses getting harder?"

'You're lucky. At least you know your troubles aren't psychosomatic!'

Women

"Social media makes it impossible to see, hear or speak no evil."

"Some day, son, all these aches and pains will be yours."

Who's Dead

A bull which has seen red.

Discomfort zone.

Tom's last day.