Life Planning Gifts

Wiseguys/Smartasses/Eggheads/Smarty Pants

"Face it - there is no good time to get married, have children, and move to Jersey."

Doubt or Certainy

I'd like to renew my life insurance policy. - 'Nope... no children. Nope... still single.' - 'Well, yes. I guess I can look forward to a 'kick ass' funeral in that case...' -

"Adolescencia"

'This was on my bucket list.'

Life's Directions

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

"Excuse me, but for some reason you have us traveling with our kids."

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

Grounded

"I'm getting so old I don't remember where I buried my bone..."

"We balanced our budget this month!"

"Congratulations. The ultrasound shows the baby is healthy, a boy and already knows more about technology than you."

The Tunnel Of Love

New arrival

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

"Ok, so you got the worm. What are you going to do with the rest of your day?"

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

"Can you hurry up with the cake? I have to travel the world, have a career and start a family"

'Congratulations! You're the proud father of three healthy, bouncing tax deductions!'

Cupid and the Stork waiting to ambush a couple.

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

"Death coach..."