Life Energy Gifts

"I can't find my chi!"

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

Reach for the Star.

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

"You need to justify your own existence first."

"That concludes my presentation on popular music and alternative energy."

The most fabulous Gran in the world.

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

Caveman to kid: 'There's more to life than what you read on cave walls.'

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

'Be patient. This summer they'll be 60 feet tall'

Fred deciding which sort of power to use to cut wood for his wood burning air conditioner.

"My husband's the academic. I just like to travel. I'm more of a pandemic."

"Yes sir, I'm late. But I thought we were supposed to stop and smell the roses ... "

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

Impatient Oil Drillers LTD.

'There's a renewable source the government should use.'

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

Life, love and a lot of bananas.

"To join OPEC you must be a country and filthy rich in oil."

"Here's the problem."

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

"Just when I’ve reconciled the fact that I’m in my 40s, my 50th birthday shows up."

"I'm surprised I'm still single - I always thought I'd be divorced by now."

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

After the Nordstrom-Nordstream Merger

Is this what they call inherent safety?

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

'Well number 34 has run dry and is now pumping fossils.'