Lie Detector Enthusiast T-Shirts

"We need to discuss your expense account."

'What's wrong? Think the walls have ears?'

"...it's another metal detector."

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

"He's sulking because I always beat him at Clue ... "

'So what if you found it? Whatever it is, it belongs to ME! Now, get off my beach!'

Optician and the PI.

Brain Bomb Detector

"Simple yes or no. Are the cartoons funny?"

'We can't determine if you're telling the truth, but you should have a doctor check your pressure.'

"Never lie to your attorney, Brad. If any lies need to be told I'll tell them."

'Do they make one of those that finds lost bones?'

... and I'd suggest you take more frequent breaks from your computer.

"Hi Honey, I'm Holmes"

Practicing for the lie detector test...'I have only $800 in the bank. I was never in Chicago. I know nothing about the dog food business.'

Pesos!

Surveillance Society

"Well, I have some good news and some lab results."

"He's lying! Just like all men! Oh God, mother was right, I'm never getting married, am I?"

Chimp, proficient in primate speech, outsmarts a lie detector.

'They're the latest tri-focals. You can see close, far, and behind your back.'

"Since you developed an interest in buried treasure, the dog has gotten into it too!"

"You've got to hand it to Johnson...if anyone has undeclared assets he's the man to find them!"

'I want to suck your toes.' - A problem for Maxwell Smart and his shoe-phone.

'There you are!' (Bureau of Missing Persons)

Metal detector finds another metal detector.

"Kkerching."

"Try here!"

'Congratulations, Phillip. you've managed to score somehow lower than chance.'

Picture messaging - '...and you hit the 'VS' verify story button and it takes a 360 degree picture without him knowing'