Lie Detector Enthusiast Pillows

Personnel Screening. Do you have any objection to taking a lie detector test? Is my answer part of the test?

"We need to discuss your expense account."

'What's wrong? Think the walls have ears?'

Hey, I think I found something. Heavy metal detector.

"...it's another metal detector."

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

"He's sulking because I always beat him at Clue ... "

'So what if you found it? Whatever it is, it belongs to ME! Now, get off my beach!'

Optician and the PI.

Brain Bomb Detector

"Simple yes or no. Are the cartoons funny?"

'We can't determine if you're telling the truth, but you should have a doctor check your pressure.'

"Never lie to your attorney, Brad. If any lies need to be told I'll tell them."

'Do they make one of those that finds lost bones?'

... and I'd suggest you take more frequent breaks from your computer.

"Hi Honey, I'm Holmes"

Practicing for the lie detector test...'I have only $800 in the bank. I was never in Chicago. I know nothing about the dog food business.'

Pesos!

'I let Facebook and My-Space do most of the leg work. I just park outside houses wearing a trilby.'

Surveillance Society

"He's lying! Just like all men! Oh God, mother was right, I'm never getting married, am I?"

"Well, I have some good news and some lab results."

Chimp, proficient in primate speech, outsmarts a lie detector.

'Hey you! You work here, don't you? You people could be in real trouble with the fire marshal for not having any smoke detectors! I assume they make regular inspections around here?'

'They're the latest tri-focals. You can see close, far, and behind your back.'

"Since you developed an interest in buried treasure, the dog has gotten into it too!"

"You've got to hand it to Johnson...if anyone has undeclared assets he's the man to find them!"

'I want to suck your toes.' - A problem for Maxwell Smart and his shoe-phone.

CIA. Spy. I hate to break this to you, Ernie, but you

'There you are!' (Bureau of Missing Persons)

"It's actually a device for tracking Satanic Hollywood paedophiles."

"Kkerching."

Metal detector finds another metal detector.

"I found your contact lens."

"Try here!"