License Enthusiast Pillows

'No license? You mean you're an illegal Beagle?'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Welcome to the Team

Wal-Mart Ruling

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

'I need both hands for steering.'

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

"Impartiality becomes you."

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'The penguin is upset...'

'I don't believe in pressuring my children. When the time is right, they'll arrive at the default choice and go to law school.'

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

Counsel examining witness

'Squint your eyes and grit your teeth so I can make sure it's you.'

Trump Indicted

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of multiculturalism.'

Find out who has the Licensing Rights to Armegeddon.

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

'Whoops! Get my lawyer on the phone!'

"Truth, whole truth, nothing but the truth? I'm not ready for that much of a commitment."

'I need to see your restraining order.'

'The trouble with this country is that it is impossible to be completely legal.'

'It's bad enough I get overrules at home... why here also, Sharon?'

“Don’t underestimate his lawyers. They went to Harvard.”

'Mom, instead of reading me my rights tonight, how about reading me a fairy tale.'

' Even though you can't make heads or tails out of it, let me assure you, it is, heads we win, tails they lose.'

'Might as well get comfortable. The appeal process can take forever.'