Licensing Enthusiast Pillows

'Madame, I an clearly see that your cat is a dog. You'll have to pay the $25.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Wal-Mart Ruling

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'I need both hands for steering.'

'The penguin is upset...'

National Liberty and Tax Codes.

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

"Impartiality becomes you."

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'I don't believe in pressuring my children. When the time is right, they'll arrive at the default choice and go to law school.'

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

'Squint your eyes and grit your teeth so I can make sure it's you.'

Counsel examining witness

"I'll need to see your responsible service of alcohol certificate."

"Find out who's got the licensing rights for this Armageddon thing and get them on the phone - quickly."

Trump Indicted

Man sees Creative License Bureau

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of multiculturalism.'

Find out who has the Licensing Rights to Armegeddon.

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

Patent attorney tries a murder case': "You say footprints from a fleetline running shoe (pat. pending) were found outside the wetha-gard window (pat. no B14-300-T92)..."

"Truth, whole truth, nothing but the truth? I'm not ready for that much of a commitment."

'I need to see your restraining order.'

'Whoops! Get my lawyer on the phone!'

'The trouble with this country is that it is impossible to be completely legal.'

'It's bad enough I get overrules at home... why here also, Sharon?'

'Mom, instead of reading me my rights tonight, how about reading me a fairy tale.'