Library Whisperer Pillows

'Where in the world did I put the book, 'How to Organize Your Home Library'?'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

Children's education

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

Computer help.

Reading

"Stop squawking. Use your words."

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

Man and Machine snoozing

"I'm really great thanks. The boss loves my ideas, he says I'm ahead of my time!" "Hi John, how are you? Good meeting?"

"Now all we need is a good script."

"Love your feng shui!"

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

"Can you help me? I'm having a little trouble working the shredder."

'They used to call me 'Fluffy', but it's been 'Lucky' ever since I survived the spin cycle.'

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

Duplass Brothers

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

"Tell the employees that from now I want them to do as I say, not as I do."

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

"Hmmm?!"

'So you just dry stuff? That's cool, I guess. I mean, it's not like there's some mystical force that could do that for you, like, I don't know... evaporation.'

'I understand yours is a highly coveted position in this company.'

"He likes to make clients feel important..."

'I think our filing system is a little too obvious.'