Library Assistant Gifts

'Well, go and browse somewhere else!'

'You can check out that legal text as soon as the computer lets it go.'

In library

'What's the point of shelving books, they just check them out again anyway!'

Catalogue of little books.

'George was a real central region inter-library loan business unit administration assistant's central region inter-library loan business unit administration assistant.'

'If you must laugh, will you do it in the humour section please?'

'Oh-oh - it's the old good librarian, bad librarian routine.'

Pulp fiction on bookshelf dripping into bucket.

Mountaineering section

Health Book Section

"Very good! Let's try it again. . . this time a little more assertively!"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

In basket-case.

Copycats

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

Big Bang Theory.

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"You're going to hate yourself."