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A rake jumps from a window onto a horse

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

'Cannonball!'

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

Don Quixote

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

Falstaff

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

"I believe I you, Bigfoot."

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'The most moving part, for me, is when they explain how to fuse the main pipe to the power hose.'

"I read an unforgettable book! Unfortunately, I don't remember the title and the author..."

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

Best Seller 'Screw You'. Kiss the Author's Ass 2 PM.

"But now it won't stay in mint condition."

Charles Dickens

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

Mermaids

Night of the Living Well-Read

Man walks into a restaurant with a sign saying "Billy Bob's Diner - We don't let the federal government tell us what to do with our tainted beef".

"Two of everything he said, including woodworm!!"

"The adventures of Robin Hood are becoming a lot less adventurous."

'I'm Smallfoot, Bigfoot's cousin!'

Gary Johnson

The Windmill Gets Attacked (Don Quixote).

"Dragons were never out of style."

The modern version.

"Crush your empties, see them placed in the proper receptacle and hear the lamentation of the wet mop!"

'Methuselah's really depressed -- He's the only one who showed up for his high school reunion.'

'He tells a great story, but the truth is that he was drinking a mai tai, and the little umbrella poked him in the eye.'

'He's been like that since he pulled the sword out of the stone.'