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"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

Don Quixote

Falstaff

Neptune

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

Through the Looking Glass - Queen Alice with Frog

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

Alice Through the Looking Glass - Alice Climbs Through The Mirror.

"Sorry kids, wrong house. This one is made of vegetables."

Triumphant mouse posing like Perseus holding aloft Medusa's head.

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

"Why do you automatically assume that I'll fly too close to the sun?"

Finding Bigfoot

"Long Johns Silver."

Don Quixote knocking over a propeller.

Three Little Pigs in a Cyclone

"No, let down your hair!"

Once upon a time and a half. William Tell shot an apple on his son's head. Plink! Nice shot, Dad! Plunk!

Elvis going to the 'House of 1/4 pounders near the 'House of gingerbread'

Leon Uris.

Frank and Ernest Updated Fairy Tales. Do you mean fair like "pretty" or fair like "evenhanded"?

Robin Hood.

"The adventures of Robin Hood are becoming a lot less adventurous."

"Hopefully our species will survive this cruise."

Ugly sisters

Polly Rescues the Charitable Grinder

Eight medieval characters from the Canterbury Tales.

The Windmill Gets Attacked (Don Quixote).

Alice in Wonderland - The Gryphon.

The Augean Stables

"Hey boy! Hey! Hey! Hey! Are those earbuds? Hey!!"

'I walked 5 miles to school and on top of that, there were no vasectomies. In my day you got neutered!'