Libertine Lore Aficionado Gifts

A rake jumps from a window onto a horse

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

'Cannonball!'

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

Don Quixote

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

Falstaff

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

What're you doing today, Darlene? Power relaxing. 9 to 10:15 I'm reading the paper. 10:20 to 11:30 I'm getting my nails done while reading Catch 22 for my books club. 11:45 to 1, I'm eating lunch, catching up on calls, paying bills then kicking back on the couch from 1 to 1:15. The afternoon is sheer bliss. Yoga from 2-3, Pilates from 3-4, massage from 4-5, meditation 5-6. Now move. Please now! You're interfering with my relaxing. How the type-A spend their Sundays. 10:02, bathroom break. Everyo

"I believe I you, Bigfoot."

'The most moving part, for me, is when they explain how to fuse the main pipe to the power hose.'

"I read an unforgettable book! Unfortunately, I don't remember the title and the author..."

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

Best Seller 'Screw You'. Kiss the Author's Ass 2 PM.

"But now it won't stay in mint condition."

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

Charles Dickens

Mermaids

Night of the Living Well-Read

Frank and Ernest Updated Fairy Tales. Do you mean fair like "pretty" or fair like "evenhanded"?

"Two of everything he said, including woodworm!!"

Man walks into a restaurant with a sign saying "Billy Bob's Diner - We don't let the federal government tell us what to do with our tainted beef".

Gary Johnson

"The adventures of Robin Hood are becoming a lot less adventurous."

'I'm Smallfoot, Bigfoot's cousin!'

The Windmill Gets Attacked (Don Quixote).

'He tells a great story, but the truth is that he was drinking a mai tai, and the little umbrella poked him in the eye.'

"Dragons were never out of style."

"Crush your empties, see them placed in the proper receptacle and hear the lamentation of the wet mop!"

The modern version.

Our menu is legendary. Really? Do you serve leg of Sasquatch? That's my favorite legend! Menu.

'He's been like that since he pulled the sword out of the stone.'