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"But now it won't stay in mint condition."

"I've come across a rather disturbing find, Carstairs!"

Loch Ness Beer Monster

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'

Sighting of the elusive Bigpaw

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

"I believe I you, Bigfoot."

"I know winter gets ugly, but this is ridiculous!"

'Count Dracula, I wish you'd come to me sooner...'

"Do you believe in Bigfoot?"

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

Canute Does It Again

"They call you Abominable and me a monster, and they don't even know us."

'Forget about the Holy Grail for now - I want you to look for weapons of mass destruction.'

Headless Self-Portrait

Mermaids

"Good King Worcestershire looked out on the feast of Stephen..."

Loch Ness.

Hand emerges from King Arthur's xmas pudding with a coin.

'We spent centuries refining our eyes of newt and bat wing potion, and now we're expected to give it away for free?'

The Inevitable Let Down After The Capture Of The Lock Ness Monster

Friendly Troll.

'I'm Smallfoot, Bigfoot's cousin!'

"...Tomorrow's weather....abominable!"

The true story of how David brought down Goliath.

Paul's Bunions

"Damn! - They've just raised my retirement age to 1,250...!"

Robin Hood and his very merry men.

"Dragons were never out of style."

"I'd like something smaller – something with fewer walls to defend."

'He's been like that since he pulled the sword out of the stone.'