Lgbtq+ Humorist Gifts

"My parents completely accept you as family. They just don't like you."

This next song goes out to the girl who stole my heart and my guitar.

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

"You look so beautiful, glistening in the moonlight."

Tunnel of Like.

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

"How barbaric! Females should be wooed by colourful displays, not fighting!"

"I think it was good for me. Was it good for you?"

'I love you, Howard, but let's not jump to conclusions.'

It's not what's outside that interests me. It's what's inside!

"There will be a Q&A...but in this era of Trump I will be insulting anyone whose questions I don't like."

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

'For the last time, Butchie, I love you but I'm not in love with you.'

"'Burned out,' Parker?- I wasn't aware you ever even 'caught fire.'"

"Or...we could suggest a three-way."

The stone is semi-precious, so I got you two.

Homophone Encounter

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

Dating in 2020

"I never turn into a prince on a first date."

'I hear they wrote their own vows.'

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

'Well, I'll be...look at this...there's a song in his heart!'

"'You're the reason I crossed the road'? Really?! Is that your best pick-up line?"

"Milton Woolburg, founder of traditions, legends, and general flimlam."

"I do not always get what I want...I got you didn't I?"

'Bradley is a strict vegetarian. Do you have broccoli flavored lipstick?'

'Have a drink while I slip into something comfortable.'

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

'Marriage might suck the life out of our relationship.'