Lgbtq+ Humorist Gifts

"My parents completely accept you as family. They just don't like you."

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

"You look so beautiful, glistening in the moonlight."

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

Tunnel of Like.

"How barbaric! Females should be wooed by colourful displays, not fighting!"

'I love you, Howard, but let's not jump to conclusions.'

It's not what's outside that interests me. It's what's inside!

"I think it was good for me. Was it good for you?"

"There will be a Q&A...but in this era of Trump I will be insulting anyone whose questions I don't like."

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

"Or...we could suggest a three-way."

Homophone Encounter

"'Burned out,' Parker?- I wasn't aware you ever even 'caught fire.'"

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

'For the last time, Butchie, I love you but I'm not in love with you.'

Dating in 2020

"I never turn into a prince on a first date."

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

'I hear they wrote their own vows.'

"Milton Woolburg, founder of traditions, legends, and general flimlam."

"I do not always get what I want...I got you didn't I?"

'Oh Gloria, I love you with all my heart, part of my liver and most of my lower intestine.'

'Have a drink while I slip into something comfortable.'

'Marriage might suck the life out of our relationship.'

"'You're the reason I crossed the road'? Really?! Is that your best pick-up line?"

'Well, I'll be...look at this...there's a song in his heart!'

'A jug of wine, a loaf of bread, and thou - apparently in that order!'

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."