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'These literary duels really are most frightfully dull.'

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"The Langmore Regional High School Inner Debate Team"

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

"Bed Spread"

Eldrow

Soldier armed with a pen.

Math Camp. I should have read the brochure more carefully before I signed up -- It says "Go on an add-venture and have sum fun"!

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

The Physiciatrist...

"I wish we were just called T-Rex..."

Best Seller

Wordplay: Export.

The Freedom of the Press is Worth Fighting For!

"If you want to make a difference, become a mathematician."

Decapitated coffee.

'Hot' and 'dog' t-shirts.

Counselor. It's annoying that he always has to have the second-to-last word

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

'Sometimes, from time to time, occasionally I wish I'd never bought that ruddy thesaurus!'

'It feels like I'm very much in a good place these days. That is, aside from the grammar.'

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

“Oi! This is a no fly zone!”

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

Language purists bring correctness to a whole new level, forcing a name change for Ireland's most famous band.

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

Shakespeare in the clink

'Coleridge'

Odysseus returns to the Laundromat

'A xebec and fluyt passed a heptad of shilpit grugrus.'

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.