Lenten Loyalist Gifts

St. Agnes Catholic Church: Meatless Friday Lenten Dinner 6 PM.

'Yessir, Ben us fly fisherman answer to a higher calling.'

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

Bottle Distillery

"When I gave up cookies for the period of fasting called Lent, I thought it would be an hour, like the period of school called math."

"Who do you like in the super bowl?"

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

'Don't you think your Jim has taken getting his favourite sun lounger as far as it can go?'

"I can never go metric. 'Al's 30.48 Centimeter Hot Dogs' just doesn't sound right."

The Awful Lawfuls Chapter 8

Trent Alexander-Arnold

"Please feel free to browse."

Football addict

I don't want to buy anything. I don't want to upgrade. Watch this! What are you doing? Looking at an ad for the new Mac laptop. My heart's not racing! What's wrong with me?! It is sleek.

Replica Football Merchandise

'I want someone who'll not just take the firms line, but the hook and sinker, too.'

Ball and Chain

'We're still crazy then ...'

'Books that stayed books.'

'Don't look at me like that! I know it's a banned substance, OK? But how can I compete if I'm the only one in the league not using spinach?!'

'Kaplan, you've been traded. ...Sorry about the tattoos.'

"And THEN, and THIS is the CLEVER bit...We put our advertising logo on the front of all our clothing and make people PAY for the privilege."

'What do you mean foul? I had a shower this morning!'

Non-metric speak your weight machine

"I wonder why the kids named me Mourinho? I hope it's not because I'll only last a few days..."

"At least you get to wake up from your nightmares."

'When did you first become a Fruit-of-the-Loom guys groupie?'

You're supposed to just copy it. The Archbishop says to knock off the ad libs!

Liverpool FC Chairman - "It's Man United, they want to know if we've any trophy cabinets going spare."

'This is an amicable split. Coach O'Neill has done a great job. We just have different ideas...'

'Early evening kick-off for the Gunners, is it, Henderson?'

'Don't bother showing me your tattoo of the company logo... you're still fired.'

Arsene Wenger's piggy bank and Andre Villas Boas.