Lender Gifts

'How do I know you'll still be around in a year?'

"Must you do that every time I say interest rates are bound to rise?"

"Your credit rating is fine, Mr. Deadbeat. It's something else that's making lending institutions wary."

"Your sole use of credit has been to purchase Chinese takeout food. That's why you can't get a mortgage."

'Any time you need more, the money tree is here.'

jumping hoops for mortgages and loans...

Real Estate Life

"I'm sorry, but at your age I really can't give you any credit...why don't you put your denture under the pillow and see if the tooth fairy can help you!"

"Our credit rating has improved. There's a pre-approved credit card in the report."

'As it turns out, there won't be any fees associated with your refinancing. Your application was rejected.'

'We don't approve of mortgages.'

'Money's so tight these days, it's harder to get into debt than out of it.'

'Bad' farmer happy as exhausted 'lender' pours money on his crops

Loan trap

'What about it Hawkins?...I hear, via the grapevine, you haven't followed orders by making a loan!'

'The bank won't lend you any money, but here's a little something from my huge bonus.'

'How soon do you want it?'

Friendly Loan Co. We're friendly but not promiscuous.

"Blah blah blah blah blah blah, no."

Kwick Loans Street Vendor

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"What's a debenture?"

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

'The Fed decided today not to raise or lower interest rates, but instead just moved them sideways a little.'

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

Historic Bank Jobs.

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.