Lemming Lore Lover Pillows

Lemming Holidays: Closed due to Family Bereavement

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

Then get under cover before you are struck by lightning.

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

"Connect A2 to B3, insert D3 into E5....I hate flat packs!"

"I know winter gets ugly, but this is ridiculous!"

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

A full moon

"But now it won't stay in mint condition."

"...and if your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump off a cliff?"

"I stand corrected..."

"Drop it... Such things banished in our kingdom."

Lemming meringue pie.

"Good King Worcestershire looked out on the feast of Stephen..."

Mermaids

'Size matters!'

'You're radiating negative energy.'

'I'm Smallfoot, Bigfoot's cousin!'

Brunhilde in a ring of fire

Dragon roasts a chicken impaled on a knight's sword.

Rainbow bridge to Valhalla

'We spent centuries refining our eyes of newt and bat wing potion, and now we're expected to give it away for free?'

Friendly Troll.

"Better watch it, Sheriff. It's said this guy's dang near impossible to shoot and no jail can hold 'im."

"It's a concussion, Sven—you're sitting out the next siege."

Before the invention of writing, ancient wisdom was passed down the generations orally, through the art of storytelling.

"Not to lecture, but the skull of your fallen enemy is reusable and much less wasteful."

Davey Crockett passed his bar exam.

"I'd like something smaller – something with fewer walls to defend."

'He's been like that since he pulled the sword out of the stone.'