Legendary Drinker Pillows

Greater crested newt in bar asking barman why he thinks the newt has had too much to drink

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Happy Hour

"An everything Martini, please."

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

"They know me here."

My friend here is being FAR too modest! He's not just ANY bartender! Karl's the guy who invented the Fuzzy Navel!'

"Just for once, why don't we forget the poor and blow the lot down the local tavern?"

Nectar of the Gods Dispenser.

"He's one hundred and five years old and I think it's disgusting!"

'Listen, if they didn't have alcohol in heaven, it wouldn't be heaven!'

'Why bother recreating the 5,000-year-old recipe fo the ancient Egyptians, when there's already one that old at the back of the fridge?'

"And while you're waiting for your drinks can I get you something from the bar?"

'Single or double?'

'Don't drink on an empty head.'

"We're looking for that wine that got away."

"I was deadwood but I'm out of a job. I guess I'm driftwood."

'Sometimes I see problems and solutions with such clarity, I feel I've been infused with all the wisdom of the ages... THAT'S when I know I've had too much to drink.'

Paradise: Collection of wine

'Watch this - I told him the correct pronunciation of Pinot Noir is peanut noyer.'

'I'm having what he's having.'

"Serious drinkers recommend hanging on to the maraschino."

The gods drink beer while Zeus throws a thunderbolt.

"India ink, straight."

"And a bag of peanuts."

'Prayer services held in pub' "Same again please..."

"... a 24 hour mimosa bar, and a 'free love' dating policy! Anyway, how's it been going for you?"

"Can't keep away, eh...?"

Beefeater cocktail

OUT of ORDER