Legendary Drinker T-Shirts

Greater crested newt in bar asking barman why he thinks the newt has had too much to drink

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Happy Hour

"An everything Martini, please."

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

"They know me here."

'Listen, if they didn't have alcohol in heaven, it wouldn't be heaven!'

"Just for once, why don't we forget the poor and blow the lot down the local tavern?"

"He's one hundred and five years old and I think it's disgusting!"

Nectar of the Gods Dispenser.

'Why bother recreating the 5,000-year-old recipe fo the ancient Egyptians, when there's already one that old at the back of the fridge?'

"And while you're waiting for your drinks can I get you something from the bar?"

'Sometimes I see problems and solutions with such clarity, I feel I've been infused with all the wisdom of the ages... THAT'S when I know I've had too much to drink.'

'Single or double?'

"We're looking for that wine that got away."

'Don't drink on an empty head.'

"I was deadwood but I'm out of a job. I guess I'm driftwood."

Paradise: Collection of wine

'Watch this - I told him the correct pronunciation of Pinot Noir is peanut noyer.'

'I'm having what he's having.'

The gods drink beer while Zeus throws a thunderbolt.

"Serious drinkers recommend hanging on to the maraschino."

"India ink, straight."

"And a bag of peanuts."

Beefeater cocktail

'Prayer services held in pub' "Same again please..."

"... a 24 hour mimosa bar, and a 'free love' dating policy! Anyway, how's it been going for you?"

"Can't keep away, eh...?"

'I drink so much alcohol I'm afraid to smoke!'

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