Legal System Buff Pillows

'Your disgusting behaviour has been almost human in nature!'

"I plead guilty and now I feel clean. Can I go home?"

Public Defender / Seltzer Defender

"You're fired."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

Sue the Author 3PM

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

Planet of the Lawyers

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

"Not guilty?"

Lady to man in netted car: 'Stinkin' speed trap.'

"He belongs to a lawyer."

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

"I think it's a subpoena!"

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

'If crime doesn't pay, how come there're so many criminal lawyers?'

"I was forced into early retirement. Is that even legal?"

'This is just a routine check, sir - who did you vote for in the last election?'

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

"Jughead, Reggie, Betty, and Veronica—they've all been locked up. But you, Archie—I had higher hopes for you."

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

"As your attorney, I must strongly advise you against bringing the high heat."

Upholding the Law

Ignorance of the Law

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

'...can you tell me how to blame Obama for all that?'

"I don't think you have a case. It's only slander if it's not true, and I've heard you play."

Judge

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".