Legal Buffs Pillows

'I asked Amy to marry me. What's a 'Pre-Nup?''

'If I tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, I'll have nothing left for my book!'

"You're fired."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

Sue the Author 3PM

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

Planet of the Lawyers

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

Lady to man in netted car: 'Stinkin' speed trap.'

"He belongs to a lawyer."

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

"Jughead, Reggie, Betty, and Veronica—they've all been locked up. But you, Archie—I had higher hopes for you."

"I think it's a subpoena!"

"I was forced into early retirement. Is that even legal?"

'This is just a routine check, sir - who did you vote for in the last election?'

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

"As your attorney, I must strongly advise you against bringing the high heat."

Ignorance of the Law

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

Upholding the Law

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

Conspiracy Theory Books

"I don't think you have a case. It's only slander if it's not true, and I've heard you play."

'...can you tell me how to blame Obama for all that?'

Judge

'Great. Another trainee lawyer.'

"My agent."