Legal System Buff Gifts

'Your disgusting behaviour has been almost human in nature!'

"I plead guilty and now I feel clean. Can I go home?"

Public Defender / Seltzer Defender

I see your client has been accused of age discrimination again.

"You're fired."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

Sue the Author 3PM

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

Planet of the Lawyers

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

"Not guilty?"

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

Lady to man in netted car: 'Stinkin' speed trap.'

"He belongs to a lawyer."

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

"I was forced into early retirement. Is that even legal?"

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

'If crime doesn't pay, how come there're so many criminal lawyers?'

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

"I think it's a subpoena!"

'This is just a routine check, sir - who did you vote for in the last election?'

"Jughead, Reggie, Betty, and Veronica—they've all been locked up. But you, Archie—I had higher hopes for you."

Who Let the Dawg In?

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

"As your attorney, I must strongly advise you against bringing the high heat."

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

Ignorance of the Law

Upholding the Law

'...can you tell me how to blame Obama for all that?'

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".