Legal System Buffs Gifts

Brett Kavanaugh

"You're fired."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

Sue the Author 3PM

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

Planet of the Lawyers

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

"Not guilty?"

Lady to man in netted car: 'Stinkin' speed trap.'

"He belongs to a lawyer."

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

'If crime doesn't pay, how come there're so many criminal lawyers?'

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

"I was forced into early retirement. Is that even legal?"

"I think it's a subpoena!"

'This is just a routine check, sir - who did you vote for in the last election?'

"Jughead, Reggie, Betty, and Veronica—they've all been locked up. But you, Archie—I had higher hopes for you."

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

"As your attorney, I must strongly advise you against bringing the high heat."

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

Ignorance of the Law

Upholding the Law

'...can you tell me how to blame Obama for all that?'

"My agent."

Judge

Executing Detainees Using Waterboarding Evidence

"I don't think you have a case. It's only slander if it's not true, and I've heard you play."

"Love is grand... divorce is a hundred grand."